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Writ on this Date, a Friday, the Third of June, in the Year of Our Lord, Two Thousand and Eleven:

I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately. And there are many reasons for this. A chunk of which involve a desperate search to find new influences and new inspirations (i.e. styles to steal, and works to copy). And another somewhat smaller chunk involves me just straight up trying to get out of this world man.

The world is mad bringing me down. My life isn’t half bad. I must be honest. But I guess perhaps my empathy level is at a heightened sensitivity? I dunno, but I just seem to feel other people’s dramas, and sufferings, and tribulations more than my own. It seems to put more burden on my shoulders. I dunno why. I guess that is a positive thing since you would think it would encourage one to reach out and help. But I think a lot of what the trouble is lay in me not knowing exactly how to help.

We’re always told to do the right thing, but damn, does anybody know what the hell the right thing is? I have friends and acquiantances and associates and family and close ones in this life. Fate has compelled me to them or them to me, so in respect to Fate, I cherish them all. I pray for them. Those I know. I love them. I really do. But when interacting with these cherished persons, I feel torment.

I feel everyone’s silent torment. It troubles me. Each is different. Each is unique. And it stokes the embers of my own. Again, I don’t know why. O, all these things I know not!

Initially, I am repulsed by it. Subconsciously, I take on a feeling of ‘so what? I got my own problems!’ But that doesn’t make it go away. So, then I try and talk. All the time with the talking. It gets tedious. It gets monotonous. It gets mundane. The same topics, over and over. And it never seems to go anywhere.

But what is interesting, I have noticed is that with my writing, I am doing the same thing. I am delving deeper and deeper into hidden issues. But this time, not of another’s, but of my own. I rouse my own darkest depths of depression and madness. I add insult to my injury, rather than adding insult to someone else’s. It seems to be the only way.

All this time in this life we ask, what good can we do? Really? At times, it seems the world actually restrains us from attempting to do it and everybody in it good. So then, after the same trite questions and debates and arguments, we lazily cozy up to a why bother approach. That’s where I’ve found myself. I just want to get out of here. And into my own world. Of my own creation.

But life ain’t so easy as all that, is it?

I guess as another grand design of that Oh-So-Ever-Present Fate, my writing always reverts back to and revolves around just that, my writing. I’m sure you all would agree: when it comes to the words I put on the page, I’m pretty self-absorbed. All the time on this blog I just say ‘my writing this, my writing that’, and I guess that’s just as well, because this is after all my writing blog conflabit. But where the trap in that is in the fact that my writing is linked to the very real world uncertainties and predicaments that I am trying to escape.

And that’s the world for you. It sneaks its ugly face into everything. It’s so easy to get stuck on worldly thinking. Especially when you only implement tools of worldly design. That means you, language.

Because you know who owns this world right? At least for the time being. Not the good guy.

That is why I’m thinking of taking a temporary hiatus from writing. Just a short little recess. To escape to a different, different world.

I’m gonna focus on art, for a minute. See, I gotta focus on Kingdom Thinking, not Worldly Thinking. Worldly Thinking thinks in language. Kingdom Thinking thinks in faith, hope, love, impressions, intuition, and thoughts that plunge to the depths.

I am going to think Kingly, then. And record my Kingdom Visions. Language can engage as best as any medium ever could, perhaps better than any, but it is constricting by definition, since it follows a design. A man-made design for that matter. I long to follow the design that is beyond any man’s comprehension. God’s design.

With art, there are no confines. You can chart and graph and navigate the deepest oceans of imagination’s astral sphere, and never run out of places to explore.

I am going to paint and draw more. Less writing. For the time being. An escape. But with a purpose. Rather than an escape back to the thing I escaped from.

Don’t get me wrong. I still love people. Still love the world. Still love my friends and family and whatnot. I just need to get the fuck outta here.

Thank you for your time and attention in perusing this freshly published post. God bless, think Kingly, and stay in the light.

Respectfully Submitted,

Blepedaimones Lothario

Writ on this Date, a Tuesday, the Tenth of May, in the Year of Our Lord, Two Thousand and Eleven:

Well now, I appear to have dropped off the face of the earth. I wonder where did all the time go? One second, I just got on terminal leave, chillin out, maxin, relaxin all cool; next second, terminal leave is over and I am subject once again to the real world’s torments.

And I find it strange and disconcerting. All that time, I had aspired previously to spend writing. Granted, a large majority of that time was spent writing, but what came of it? Not much at all. That’s what frightens me. I second guess. I doubt. I critique in haste, much prematurely. All of this has made it to where I pretty much float through the same poems and pieces and re-edit and re-edit and re-edit. Thereby, writing technically, but with little to nothing to show for it. I’m stuck on like the same twelve pages of one story man…and it’s about sixty pages total if you count all the poems that nobody ever reads. But growth overall is stagnant. There’s been little conceivable measure. And my attempts at writing personal works have drew me away from my work as a columnist for the examiner, of which, I have not posted on in nearly three weeks. No Joke.

All of this is alarming. I’m starting to put my motives in doubt. Do I really want to write? I do…I say to myself, deep in introspection, but alas then, why am I afraid? I am afraid. Ultimately, that is what it is. I am afraid to see what fruits of my labor the harvest might bring. I am intimidated by being at the mercy of the public’s every whim. I am fearful of my own written words.

Because they can be self-interrogations. They can be brutal self-negotiations. They can be tear-jerking confessions. They can ruin careers. Shatter previously held notions. Completely fuck someone up man! Words are fierce!

I’m afraid…but still I do it. I feel like I am waiting for the prime moment to really deliver my chops. A time when I can confidently say that I have conquered this language beast. I have become wordsmith to the smelted letter. I have slayed the word in its place of work. Mastered that which all other Masters bow to. That moment. That’s what I feel I’m waiting on.

But logically, I know that doesn’t quite make perfect sense. I tell myself, well, of course, you’re the guy who needs to get yourself there, bucko. And then I respond, I know. Shut up. Leave me alone. Powerpuff Girls are on, you kidding?

And so I sit. Frustrated. And think, perhaps maybe I should clarify my goals a little bit.

What do you think?

For now, I suppose I’m gonna live my life, every now and again write some pieces, look at them, place them on the shelf, maybe mark their place with a dried flower. Other than that, I drive. It works. For now. Fall is school. I think that will be cool. I feel like I play with my kids too much and not enough at the same time. Being home more has allowed me more interaction with them, but now, since I am selfish, I tune out occasionally because I don’t always want to focus my attention on them. I feel school will allow me more adult social stimulation, the kind I feel I’ve begun to seriously lack over the years. That, in turn, will make me appreciate more the time I will have with the kids then. And I love my kids. They deserve to have me engaged. Provided, I don’t need school to do it, but I’ve hopes that it will help rekindle my vitality, urging me to do more with what I have. For now, I have but do little. It’s easy to stay in a slump. You gotta get the right cogs turning to encourage further revolutions. Feel me? Am I talking to myself?

But of course, this is all largely speculation. On the whole, this life ain’t too shabs either. I just feel I could be participating a little more and contributing a little more to the world. At least in the realms that hold my interest. Ya know? You’d think, right? But of course, I always told myself that I never felt it necessary to have school in order for one to do that. Change comes from within, right? Not without. But hell, I guess it helps to have a bunch o’ like-minded individuals who all mostly share in your demographic category on your side right?

Here’s hoping for some mad allies!!!

I love you God. I love you family. I love you you infinite cruel joke of existence.

Sincerely and respectfully submitted,

Blepedaimones Lothario

Writ on this Date, a Wednesday, the Sixth of April, in the Year of Our Lord, Two Thousand and Eleven:

I have made my exit from the United States Marine Corps, and it feels quite invigorating. My last day before going on Terminal Leave was a Friday. Spring has sprung. Birds were chirping. It was bright and sunny out. It was, by all accounts, a beautiful, beautiful day.  [the extra beautiful there is for added emphasis, in case you weren’t aware]

But like always, disaster strikes: We had our car in the shop last week to have repairs made under some factory recall. That meant the repairs were free. Yay. Great success. But come to find out, this weekend, something was different about our car. Something dark. Something carnal. Something arcane and macabre. The tires! THE TIRES!! The tires that are on my car now are not the tires that were there last week. The rims all up on the left side are beat and broke and rusted and look just plain ol’ sorry. The tires themselves have depleted treads–way waydepleted. We’ve had this car a little over a year. The tires were fine before. What gives?

So now I’m just trying to find out exactly where in the chain of us having it to the auto shop place having it did our tires get switched out? We got it towed to a place called Progressive Automotives, and from there it was towed to a place called Radley Chevrolet in Fredericksburg, about twenty minutes south of us. We stopped by Progressive and they showed us all the paperwork they had on it. Nothing mentioning tires at all. They said, and I guess I have to take them at their word, that if anything was done to the tires, if the tires were even LOOKED AT, it would show up in some sort of documentation someway somehow…a lotta somes, I know, it sounds iffy, but like I said, I gotta take them at their word.

When looking over the paperwork from Radley Chevrolet, we looked at the Tire Inspection part and we see that the tires apparently were already jacked up when they got there. So it wasn’t Radley.

The Towers…

We called the Towing Place (also down in Fredericksburg), and a woman answers. I guess I didn’t hear her the first time she said hello because the first thing I hear is that irritated, annoyed, impatient …Um, helloooooooooooo? Ya kno. So I says, I apologize, I didn’t hear you, and then I go on to explain our current sitiation…what does this chick say? “Okaay…?” (remember now, irritated, annoyed, impatient) “What do you want us to do about it?”


You are already practicing some ill-advised phone etiquette by being so short with me, so what else am I supposed to think? Your industry, ma’am, should be a respectable business in the area because it is truly a valued and richly needed service that you provide. But here you are acting like I’m wasting your time and I have evidence that shows your place of work practices some very unethical dealings on the regular. Switching out my fine ass tires for some broke ass ones, so that you can milk the system little by little? Is that how you do? You did me dirty tow place, and I really wanna right wrongs. But how exactly can I prove they did it? I’m only going off of suspicion.

Is that enough?

I would say something like TO BE CONT. but bump it, I’m out.

Respectfully submitted,

Blepedaimones Lothario

Writ on this Date, a Monday, the Seventh of February, in the Year of Our Lord, Two Thousand and Eleven:

My concentration in the arts and writing is really just a consequence to my higher aspirations. Essentially, I long for more than my heart can express, to re-fortify into the human spirit beauty, dialogue and creativity as cornerstones of life. As fundamentals into our very existing. I feel this virtues above all else can help strengthen ties that may have been strained, assuage wrongs felt by all demographics, and heal deep and longheld wounds that have affected us all negatively as a species. The reason for this, I feel, is that these virtues are encrypted into our very souls, and are the best way at achieving a common human spirituality without offending or insulting any ideological or political group.

I wish to affirm these sentiments as succinctly, broadly, and expediently as possible. Therefore, the art, the poetry, the essays, the stories and the galleries and exhibitions I have created or desire to are all ancillary to that aim.

By the very act of creating alone, one can ignite a spark in a worlwide paradigm shift for the better. The basis of which I hope to attain (and afterward, maintain), is that temporal, spatial, and causal matters are not the only things meant for or requiring human concern, nor do they alone satisfy the potential that lay within the capabilities of the mind. There is much more out there for us to realize. Those three things may be necessary, but they are not the complete picture, nor can there ever be a complete picture, but it is firing in our veins the very need of a fuller picture.

In that sense, however, they become obstructions for many of us. If we can only see the spatial, temporal and causal as means and not the ends, then what have we?


A relinguishment of boundaries, limitations, and ceilings we feel have been set but do not know were never really there?

The problem is not that people are not ambitious enough for their societies or there cultures. The problem is that societies and cultures are not ambitious enough for people.

Now since it is people who make up society, I intend to alter this longheld misconception. And I intend to do it, one person at a time.

In the meantime, buy my books, and read my blog!!!! I COMMAND YOU!!!

Just kidding…slightly.

Respectfully submitted,

Blepedaimones Lothario

January 25th post

Writ on this Date, a Sunday, the Ninth of January, in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Eleven:

Please, at your convenience, follow the link above to see the books I have available at the storefront. On the seventh of this month, I published my second book, The Charlatan Farce, and I must say I am really glad to be done with it. Proud of whatever meager thing I may have accomplished, and yet glad that it is over nonetheless.

This year has already been a roller coaster ride and we are not even two weeks in. I’ve been given new eyes, it seems, bestowed upon me by the goodness of God Himself, and I am determined to use these new eyes to renewed, better and higher, more honorable purposes. One thing these new eyes have shown me already is the very reason in which I wrote The Charlatan Farce.

Before, all I knew was that I loved to write. Why? Because God literally told me to, “Write.” I knew I was meant for a purpose in the creative arts, but not exactly how to go about completing this purpose or enduring its many obstacles and stumbling blocks that were sure to prevent themselves in my creative excursions. So I prayed about it. I prayed hard about it. God just told me to write. He told me to be art. Be, in Gandhi’s words, the change I wanted to see in the world. I didn’t know what change I wanted to see, so I did as God commanded and just wrote.

This was over a year ago, when I finished my first book, The Basket Case, and only now do I realize, or has God allowed me to realize, the deeper meanings as to why I was to write. I had an Awakening at the beginning of this month, where I absorbed, as if for the very first time, the true weight of the Glory and the Love of God, and with this renewed perception, I noticed all these things in my past, and all these memories and all these situations, and circumstances and conditions that all hinted towards the reasons for my living, and my seeking after God. It’s like I was looking at all these past hints and just now realizing that they were all about the very same thing, and that thing was discovered in one life changing and defining moment.

The reasons why I wrote were so that God could talk to me. God reaches us all in many different manners, either through someone else, like a pastor, or rather through what one reads, or through just a simple errand run, or through the radio or on and on and on. God has spoken to me briefly in all these manners, but He knew, even before I did, that I often get in my own way of hearing Him fully. I know that I get in my own way now, but the way He showed me that, was to speak to me, through myself, more specifically through my writing. Before I published The Charlatan Farce, I was reading through it, giving it it’s final touches and editing it, as a good author should do, and I was struck by what I read, AS IF I DIDN’T WRITE IT. And now I’m convinced that I didn’t write a lot of it. I was just the conduit through which God was able to reach me.

In the contents of The Charlatan Farce, I touched on many concepts like faith, and love, and purpose, and drive, and forgiveness, and all of these things were the very things that I needed to hear. Granted, not all of it is a miraculous work, and the parts that fall short are surely where I was doing my best (which ain’t a best by any means) at attempted a beauty with words; but there are many parts in the book where I’m convinced God was driving the writing. It was so strange, like it was a message for me and for me alone, and how so many parts of this message were foreshadowed by many events in my life over the past year, that I was just too ignorant at the time to understand. Now I have a deeper understanding of everything, and how everything is a puzzle piece falling into place to perfect God’s Grand Design.

Now, I am at a point where I understand The Grand Commission, where Jesus ordered His Disciples to go out, venture forth, and spread the good news, The Gospel Message. That is where I believe I am at right now. So with that said, I urge you please, to sample my book. Find it on Lulu and read the preview. Before, I wrote because it was and still is what I love to do, and because I thought I could perform fairly well in putting words together in a beautiful poetic form. Now, I see a higher significance to all of this, and as you read, I pray you do to. See what’s inside this work that God put there specifically for you. See if God is calling you to the Grand Commission as well. See if God is fleshing out His purpose for your life, and see if you can see the puzzle pieces beginning to fall into place, nice and neat, without our even doing it. Oh, we might think it’s us doing it, but it’s not us, rather, it is God through us. See in the contents of my work the truth-values that are biblical, timeless, unchanging, and permanent. See also where the illusion is, so that you might be able to do away with it, and who knows? Create a work that is even more perfected to speak towards His higher calling for us all. See where I lack and improve it. See where I shine and live it, so that that light might shine for others to see.

Regardless, with the New Year come, and New Eyes to see, I consider you all my brothers and sisters in life, all of whom, myself included, are destined to do away with what is mirage, so that we may finally see the true horizon, the eternal inheritance of which we all are promised to, and which we cannot in our fleshy vessels fathom.

These are just a smidgen of the revelations that God has given me, but words can only do so much. You actually have to experience God’s Love to truly embrace it. It was the words that got me to the door, but it was God’s awakening my faith that got me to open it. I pray that through my words, and through all the puzzle pieces that abound around you, got leads you to that invitation of Love of which we all are invited, but some never realize because we get in our own way.

Therefore, get out of the way of your way, and then the path will be plain before your very feet. Thank you for enduring these pretentious, self-absorbed words. Know that they are imperfect. They can only go so far. These words are only an invitation. Go past them. Go past yourself. Rid yourself of ego, and experience what love truly is.

For Him, by Him, and in Him, I am:

Blepedaimones Lothario
Striving only to be a good and loyal servant of the Absolute Almighty

Writ on this Date, a Saturday, the Eleventh of December, in the Year of Our Lord, Two Thousand and Ten:

In regards to scientific and philosophical debate, information gets tossed around so carelessly that it begins to wear down on the concept of knowledge itself. What do we really know? How do we know it? How can we prove we know it? Legend tells us that Socrates once uttered, “All I know is that I know nothing.” And that probably comes close to where we all are at intellectually, but how does that make sense? Obviously, he knows something if he knows he knows nothing. However, if he does know nothing, then he couldn’t know that he did. It’s a paradox, and yet still, it speaks truer in our hearts than any hair-brained theory or some strained unified law in science–at least, to me. Socrates was at least mostly right. If you look at the bigger picture and contemplate just how much information really is floating around in the cosmos, by comparison, we would have to say that we might as well know nothing, because the limited knowledge we do possess would be so close to zero when contrasted to infinity as to ultimately make no real quantifiable difference.

Knowledge is like a distance we are to traverse, and for all intents and purposes, it seems as if it can be accomplished easily enough. It’s as simple as walking down the block. However, it when you break it down to its smallest parcels–its individual points–you discover that you have to traverse half the distance before you can traverse the whole distance. Then, you find that you have to traverse half of half of the whole distance. Then half that, then half again, until you find yourself approaching infinite, but you haven’t even actually gone anywhere yet. It’s another paradox. This is why I talk about the unreliability of cold, hard knowledge, especially when it comes to information as posited by the physical sciences. In the end, we can only presume to know. The theory of knowledge is just that, a theory. It matters not how much evidence you might have to back your claim, the evidence is still factored into the theory itself and thus, everything must be put into question.

And now I wish to bring up the topic of reductionism. Reductionism is a term (always pejorative) used to label a view that is deemed unacceptable. It is a reducing of an idea or thing into its most fundamental parts. And although this view is almost universally panned, it must be noted that reductionism is a practice very much essential to what science is and its supposed purpose.

A reduction is a claim of the form: ‘A’s are nothing but B’s,’ such as ‘lightning is nothing but a discharge of static electricity’ or ‘water is nothing but two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom.’

Generally speaking, “is nothing but” means “is identical with”–the most important contemporary model of reductionism is the claim, “humans are nothing but biological organisms.” –that is to say, complex biophysical systems. This is felt by many to involve unwarranted reduction–but science cannot prove anything otherwise.

In reality, nothing can be conveniently reduced. Lightning is studied in electrostatics and in meteorology, however neither of these branches of science claim to know lightning entirely. They each have differing vocabularies and definitions pertaining to how lightning relates to the branch itself. Also, lightning can be said to be ‘awe-inspiring’ but that term is not utilized in any scientific context. Does that make it any less true? In the same manner, painting is just the use of chemicals to arrange an image. These can be chemicals on the canvas’ fibres as well as the make-up of the pigments that create the colors that are used. However, painting isn’t a branch of chemistry, it is an artform.

The reductionist sentence: ‘Paintings are nothing but a composition of chemicals’ may be true, but it is not the whole truth, and this should be obvious. It necessarily excludes the aesthetic characteristics as well as the principles of beauty in art.

Biological systems are made up of chemicals, so chemistry can be said to be more fundamental than biology. But then chemicals, in turn, are composed of combinations of atoms, composed of forces and particles central to physics. Thus, physics can be said to be more fundamental than chemistry. Is this where the fundamentality stops? How long until the reducing ceases? What really is the most fundamental thing?

Most scientists, I believe, would claim that physics would be the most basic science–the most rudimentary explanation of all things we know to be true in the universe. But that claim itself is not entirely true, is it? Physics says there are four elemental forces and about seventeen or so irreducible particles–and that is it. Nothing more makes up the inventory of the entire universe. I suppose that could be held as a truth, sure, but there is still a lot left that’s not understand. Even a little bit. There’s so much undiscovered and unexplored in physics it is mind-boggling. The relationships between the forces and the particles, the forces and the forces, and the particles and the particles are just now beginning to be tested and evaluated at levels essential for them to even begin to be comprehended. Still, we’ve explained a lot of what occurs in nature due to physics, and yet the science itself definitely cannot account for all occurring phenomena. Impossible. Can it really be the most basic science?

I always prefer a poor joke to no joke at all, so I suppose the current systems we’ve implemented to record knowledge work for the time being. Just as long as we all accept the fact that there is still something big very much amiss in the way our thinking has been structured and organized. The conscience of science–the true knowing-knowledge–is not here. It is thus far absent in our midst.

Therefore, lastly, I must say: Be a dedicated enemy of all convention, intent on exposing the stupidity and arbitrariness of custom.

For all you naysayers and dissenters out there, I ask you: What is the scientific justification of laughing? We should all part from a cause when it is found to be lost. The scientific cause is not found to be triumphant. It shouldn’t be abandoned entirely, merely taken with a very big grain of salt.

Thank you all for your time and attention.

Respectfully submitted,

Blepedaimones Lothario

Writ on this date, a Friday, the Tenth of December, in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Ten:

Most ordinary science depends on a causally deterministic view of nature–but there have been logically based developments in our modern era that challenge that view. The Heisenberg (1901-1976) Uncertainty Principle (which I’m sure you’ve heard of but probably don’t understand–I know I don’t) expresses that the position and momentum of a subatomic particle cannot both be known with certainty at any given time, since the process of measuring either will always alter the other. Nature at its deepest, darkest, most fundamental and essential levels is thoroughly indeterministic. Also, cognitive styles and practices of the known physical sciences affect everything the senses perceive and even the nature and extent of the senses themselves. This said, it follows that nothing can be said to be absolute in science, and therefore we only make scientific assumptions based on probability, which is not necessarily what once was thought.

Science is still important, however, but only in that it is in support of the philosophical practice. Philosophy is important because questions that are open–not having a corresponding answer–can potentially lead to answers of other questions we’re asking. This is essential, I believe, because that is how we grow.

The only one concrete requirement for science? The construction of theories. And yes, the theories might be tested to determine whether they can be proven or are a falsehood, but the very fact that it starts with an unknown and deals mostly in realms inherently unknown is testament to the proposition that science (physical, science, quantum, etc.) is at its very core, an unknown itself and thus we cannot reasonably allow for its conclusions to be taken as doctrine–through science, we can only say for certain that something is probable, or likely to occur, or it isn’t; and therefore, nothing is absolutely certain.

Science also claims to assess the purposes and the causal steps to a given phenomena, natural or artificial, but this also is an example of wrong thinking. The layman thinks science is juts “if A, then definitely B” or “if A, then logically B must follow,” but all is not that simple. What is really at the heart of the matter is whether science can explain the relation between A and B in a completely satisfactory manner. This is very rarely achieved seeing as to how our faculties for reasoning allow for the rules of logic to go on almost ad infinitum. If this than that. If A then B. However, B can be a conduit to C. Unless C is nonreactive to A.

Science seems to be a perspective relying on ones research but can vary base on the individuals involved. Ones natural thought process can be punitive when directed towards specific ideology on how things around you mechanize and thus creating findings and or conclusions influenced by the self conscious mechanics to the person in question.

Writ on this Date, the First of December, in the Year of Our Lord, Two Thousand and Ten:

Ex nihilo nihil fit — From nothing, nothing comes.

Geometry is the science of position and extension. A point has only position, but extension can extend to 3 dimensions, and possibly even more. With that said, let me also stress to you to view your life as the most important geometry. See your current position, and see that by itself, the position is stagnant. Then see, with enlightened eyes, exactly where you can extend, and where you need to extend. Be a Master of Yourself. Be the scientist of your life, for we are all our own walking, breathing science experiments.

In geometry, it has been proven that given 3 of the 6 parts of a triangle, the triangle can be constructed, provided that 1 of the given parts is a side. The rest can be inferred and determined algebraically. See now that the whole puzzle doesn’t need to be complete. Not all pieces need to fall into place for you to know where your going or what logical steps are left for you to take. In other words, you don’t necessarily have to go looking for opportunity, or for an open door to put your foot in; rather, one must CREATE his or her own opportunities. One must OPEN the door themselves.

In all things, I remember that no matter what happens to me–regardless of what flatteries or abuses I receive, what obstacles appear in my midst, what trouble arrears for my family and I, what praise and/or compliments, or insults or accusations are handed over to me during my hapless, dangerous trek through the wilderness of life, I shall remain concretely and unchanging as two things:

1) Humble and
2) Resolute

These two virtues, perhaps more than any other, will take me where I need to go–that is, where God wants me, and where I want me–for they are both one and the same.

Humility is the human quality of perceiving one’s own estimate of importance or rank as modest, or low. That is not to say that I doubt my own talents, skills and/or gifts. It simply means that I take on an air of a proper Christian grace, pleasing to God. It is with humility that I know that what I want for my family and I is also what God wants for my family and I. It preserves the soul in tranquility, thereby making a strong faith possible. As such, I devote all of the faith that I possess in God, as well as in my modesty and resolve.

To be resolute is to be firmly determined, and set in purpose. In this case, the purpose is to see my way through all trials and tribulations to get to where my family needs me and where God has called me. It may sound contradictory in terms to a humble nature, but for me, it is actually the next logical step. Because humility guarantees faith, my being resolute will allow me to direct my faith as well as direct my steps. Additionally, I will be able to relish my faith, and receive from it much joy, for the hope for greater and greater things will keep my eyes ever heavenward towards the Absolute Almighty. With such sights I have set for myself, with such beauty and peace that only a spirituality and a certain mysticism could express, how could I possibly grieve then, or ever feel sorry for myself?

I can’t.

Bible verses that touch on humility: Romans 12:3; 15:17,18; 1 Corinthians 3:5-7; 1 Peter 3:4; Psalm 69:32,33; Job 1:22; Phillipians 2:6-8; Proverbs 16:18; Psalm 147:6; Isaiah 57:15; 66:2…

There are definitely more, but I never said I was a biblical scholar…actually, maybe I have, but if so, I renounce it.

Either way, an observation that deserves much contemplation is that the great paradox of Christianity is that it makes humility the avenue to Glory.

There are those who believe that if a paradox exists then that means that a fallacy has been made, and/or some sort of mistake has been committed. They say that whatever conditions that allow for a paradox cannot be based in reality, since logic-based self-contradictions cannot scientifically be measured or quantified and therefore, simply do not exist. That is where a resolute faith comes in. Putting all your hope and faith in God will further ensure your humble spirit, and actually strengthen it, and thus, God will see your prudent service and reward you in accordance with His will and with the vision and purpose He Himself has sewn into the very flesh and beating of your heart. He did this already, before you were even born.

Lastly, the question must be considered: Is not prayer also a study of truth? Whether you are making a request to God, an intercession, asking forgiveness, or whatever, we must note that through prayer, the truth, though we may be unable to express it in words, will be put into our spirit and in our Mind’s Eye, and it will grow more and more, until it is all we see.

After all, it is not the walls that make a city, but the people living and dying, thriving and surviving inside that do.

There is no alleviation for the sufferings of Mankind except for a resolute spirit.

Thank you all for your time and attention.

Respectfully Submitted,

Blepedaimones Lothario

Writ on this Day, A Saturday, the Twentieth of November, in the Year of Our Lord, Two Thousand and Ten:

I’ve a wealth of information that’s been accumulated simply by living a life of 23 years now. We’ve all got a wealth of information. The trick is what to use it for. What good could it really do you? What motives are the driving force behind your increasing of intelligence? How can you utilize it to help not only yourself, but also your fellow man?

Having knowledge alone is not enough. I know Francis Bacon said knowledge is power, but he was wrong. Knowledge isn’t power. Applied knowledge is power. But do we want power? Is that a noble or worthy aim? I certainly wouldn’t mind having influence. Is that the same thing? Perhaps it’s the motivating factors we have set in our minds that determine whether it is power or influence.

I, for one, want to have a positive influence on the world. I want to affect a beneficial and advantageous change in the hearts and minds of all my fellow men and women. And I need to use knowledge of course to get it done. But how? And what change exactly? I think I may have answered that question for myself, but I’m not entirely sure, and unfortunately ambition without a solid direction is never going to reach its mark. Won’t quite cut it for me.

I guess what I want is for my art and writing to inspire people, and to serve as an opportunity for them to see hopefully something beautiful in a world whose bleakness is growing and growing. And I would love for my material to change people’s thinking. Set them on a different frequency, maybe. Alter just the right perspectives so that they might realize the beauty in everything.

Themselves. Others. Loved ones. Despised ones. Societies. Economies. Sculptures. Fireplaces. Dark alleys. Lit windows. Everything. Eradicate the ugly in all, and then what is fundamentally ugly will dematerialize. This pointless hierarchy of judgments and prejudices and stereotypes that we’ve put in place will crumble and fall.

What we attach ourselves to, that we have not for ourselves considered, weighed and measured at length are without merit and therefore baseless, and should be consider nonfactors in our lives.

But to be able to bring about such a broad sweep of changes in paradigm shifts across the board means that you have to meet the people you are affecting where they are at. You gotta do what America is trying to do–but sadly, is failing–in affecting the “hearts and minds” of the populace. Perhaps that is why it is said that you have to be a follower before you can be a leader and/or a good leader is really just a good follower.

Those aphorisms are good for me because honestly, I suck at leadership. But even though I’ve no credible reason to believe that I will be the recipient of a leadership award anytime soon, I’m perfectly happy simply trying to serve to my fellow man’s benefit doing precisely what it is I love. God willing, I am going to do just that.

So questions to answer (I guess) are: What knowledge I need? How to gain it? How to apply it?

But I can’t even instigate my thoughts fully to get the right words out. I sometimes wonder what it is I’m really talking about. I couldn’t bring about real revolutionary thinking in anything to anyone in any concrete, measurable capacity.

Sure, I probably do some good on occasion. Given the amount of days in a life, it’s bound to happen to everybody sometimes. Even if only by chance.

And that’s pretty much my point. I don’t want to make just accidental change, or just stumble out some good fortune to such and such person from time to time based solely on the happenstance of things alone. No. I want to CREATE the happenstance of things. Become the harbinger for an observable change in administrations, writings, reviews, essays, education programs, counselings, publications, mindsets to any and all who is willing to listen or just give a moment of their time.

And that, I suppose, is why I complain about the limited amount of knowledge that I do possess. I’ve a wealth of knowledge, but it is limited, because of what I don’t know. And what I don’t know is the proper means and methods to carry out my knowledge’s implementations. Simply put, nothing can really be considered hard, if our knowledge of it consists of how it is used.

Really what I am trying to do, and what I am meant to do is point out the idiosyncratic in the knowledge of language. How the concept itself and the perceptions of it alters in little variants from one person to the next. This knowledge would as well, be crucial to me. For I am to emulate them, and illustrate them in my own material to raise awareness of these slight differences. Perhaps that is how best I can inspire change.

Doing this will prevent miscommunications that could potentially escalate to confrontations. Although preventing such situations are really only one purpose out of many. For I have realized as of late that we are all specialists in our own languages. And, if trends tell us anything, our specialties are focused in really small areas. Areas that at times might be difficult to detect, but in the end, make a world of difference.

For example, recently I participated in a lesson on business financial management. In this lesson, we had to calculate the cost of capital. Through study, I learned that the cost of capital can be determined following a formula of the cost of equity against the cost of debt. It was then I noticed that if I only could define the terms, the formula was easy enough to follow. I had to learn what capital was. I had to learn what equity was. I had to learn what debt was. It seems these terms have a technical definition and a conversational definition based on context, so I had to make that distinction known and how the distinction was made. In effect, I had to learn the language so that the steps themselves might make sense. Mastery of anything lies in the fluency of the language.

We’ve all something to learn from our counterparts in knowledge and language, and I think that is what I know that I am meant to teach to my counterparts.